Practiced my concentration by applying a noting technique for 30 minutes. This means I keep my focus at the breath, noting ‘rising’ at the in breath and ‘falling’ at the out breath. I also keep a general awareness of all sensations. When my attention is drawn to something I note it (also called labelling) , like ‘thinking’ , ‘ feeling’ , ‘hearing’ etc. Then I return to the breath. This is a powerful technique .
This one was nothing to write home about. Could not maintain focus because I was worried about something.
Had a busy day so it’s late in the evening now, a retry of the MCO is not a good idea so late at night. Did a Violet Flame meditation instead, it was nice and relaxing. Felt very clear and at home in the I Am feeling for a few minutes.
Didn’t work out well. Did this 20min MCO right after lunch on a hot day already being tired before I started. Mind wandered off multiple times, concentration was difficult. Heat in the abdomen though. Will try again later today.
Today I did an energy healing session on my spouse on her request.
I immediately feel resistance , like ‘I’m not ready’ , ‘I don’t feel like it’, ‘I’m no good at it’ and other reasons to decline. It’s fear , but fear of what? I ignore it and we go upstairs to the treatment room I reserved for this purpose. I meditate in that room and I have a treatment table set up there. She layed down on the table and I put on some nice ambient sounds , she likes that and it also helps me to get in the mood. I stood behind her and asked archangel Michael to bathe the room in white light. I felt a difference. I always start by purifying the energy body of the client so I asked the higher self of the client for permission to do so. I got a positive feeling so I interpreted that as a yes. I asked St.Germain for some violet flame energy and my spirit guides for help cleaning the energy body. I grounded myself by growing roots from my feet into mother earth. I connected my crown with Source. Then I let the violet flame energy of St.Germain flow through my arms into the client while the spirit guides also worked on the energy body.I saw the energy body light up in my mind’s eye. Removed bad energies by sending them to the light and removed foreign energies by sending them back to the original owner. When it felt like this stage was done I thanked everyone that assisted and continued with the actual healing. Before I started the Shamballa energy I placed my hands on the sides of the head of the client and imagined that polluted energy flows from the head through my left hand and leg into the earth where it was cleaned and flowed back up through my right leg and arm into the other side of the head. Then I did the reverse. This has a calming effect on the client. Then it was time to let the Shamballa energy flow , starting at the head. I tried to let the energy guide me. Sometimes I feel what to do , most of the time not. I always try not to control what I’m doing , let the energy move and do what it wants. I walked around the table scanning over her body with my hands , waiting for hints what I could do. No hints received. I continued doing this until it started to feel ‘dead’, like it’s useless to continue. The whole process took about 15 minutes. Then I sat down and meditated for 15 minutes while my wife enjoyed the relaxing ambient sounds. This felt very nice and centered.
Did my daily MCO this morning (short version) , sitting crosslegged in my meditation room. It was a bit messy. I had difficulty staying focused and the liveliness of the excercise was low with no sensations worth mentioning.
Normally when I get to the heart I see the lotus flower there that my Mom gave me in a meditation , so usually I will think of the love of\for my Mom at that point. This time however I spontaneously included all sentient beings , which felt good. As I lift my own awareness , I serve all sentient beings.
yesterday evening during the meditation my mind wandered for a moment and was thinking how I would like to know about my previous life\lives. I instantly decided to ask my higher self for information and a moment later there was a flash image of a snowy white mountain ridge on which I was walking. I don’t know if I was alone or with a group. Next moment there was an image of a wolf (or maybe a sled dog) attacking me. That was it.
These are rare moments where spontaneous images or words appear to me , it happens when I am relaxed with an empty mind. Usually if I get thoughts that attract my attention I can trace back what the stream of thoughts was and I can see how I got there. In this kind of case however the images come out of the blue without any thought stream that lead to them. It leaves me wondering if this is my fantasy at work or if it is the information I requested? I guess I need to develop a level of trust in this , hopefully I get some information soon that I can validate.
Tonight I meditated while listening to this beautiful soundtrack. It relaxed me quite a bit and this was welcome since I’m very caught up in the stresses of the small self lately. This frustrates me because last February I had an experience of no-self for a few seconds in which it became very clear to me that there are no persons – everything around us is just happening with no-one controlling it, completely impersonal. There was no Me. It was not open for interpretation, it was very clear. It was not something anyone can understand intellectually, it can only be known. This experience is now a memory of the small self. Remembering this and still getting caught up in the play of the ego frustrates me. But anyhow, the meditation was relaxing and I got quite clear. I started noting, a technique where you label that which draws your attention. For example ‘rising’ or ‘falling’ when the attention is with the breath, ‘hearing’ when attention is drawn to the music, ‘thinking’ when attention goes to a thought and ‘feeling’ when attention goes to a physical sensation. This technique is quite powerful and it felt good doing it. I feel much better again, more balanced.
Feeling somewhat down lately , having trouble ‘carrying’ al this emotional stuff around and keep observing it instead of identifying with it. Sometimes I think that this is required for growth , I hear this also from other people but I also hear from good sources that spiritual growth is also possible from joy. Why do I choose to grow by suffering? The Book of Mastery also states this suffering is not necessary but does not say how one can grow through joy instead of pain. To be continued.
Did an extra 13min MCO at work because the session this morning didn’t feel very productive. This one was better , imagined drawing energy provided by loved ones – that was new. Energy ball was bigger now , sensations a little more lively when compared to this morning.