Today is a Thursday so at 8pm I went upstairs to do a shamballa meditation.
Mind wandered a lot but that’s okay. After that 15-minute session I decided to offer somebody a healing. She accepted and lied down on my table. It had been a while since I last did this and insecurity tried to convince me to not do this, but I didn’t listen. I asked archangel Michael to bathe the room in white light and asked permission to cleanse the energybody using St.Germain’s Violet flame. I started with my hands on the sides of her head and I had the impression energy was strong, even though I didn’t really feel it. After a short while there was a sudden shift in my mind’s image and instead of flushing her energy body now she was morphing into tree roots; the shape of her body got lost and she turned into a mass of intertwined large roots like you would see in the jungle, becoming one with the Earth. No idea what that was about. After that I started with shamballa, walking around her looking for clues what to do. No ideas came but I trusted my higher self that things were happening without my knowledge. After a while I stopped and I noticed she was shaking a bit, her arm and head were twitching. I observed for a while and wondered if I should do something. Eventually I decided to place some stones around her; a piece of ferrite/pyrite between her feet end a large labradorite below her head on the floor. She instantly got sad and started crying. I comforted her and we were both surprised. She also didn’t feel well but this passed quickly and she went back downstairs. I assume this was something that she needed to process, even though no thoughts or images arose that would explain the source of the sadness. Not sure if this means I did something wrong, I guess I have to trust that it was for the best.
Tonight was the first try-out of an online meditation group session I helped facilitate by taking care of all the technical shizzle. I was quite tense in advance, I really wanted this to work but I also realized I shouldn’t have any expectations. We humans can take actions but we never know the result of them.
The session worked out nicely. We had 11 or 12 people connected including me and the host. Everything worked well and the host provided us with three guided mediations. The only thing I noticed was a hick-up in the audio every 10 minutes, causing the loss of about one sentence. We’ll have to find the cause of that. It didn’t ruin the session though.
Next up is a group shamballa session on the 12th of may and I hear there is lots of interest.
I started with the global peace meditation which is now planned every Sunday evening at 9 pm CET. It was nice. Then I did 10 minutes of affirmations. I followed it up with a 20-minute Light meditation which felt good. Mind wandered a bit but that’s okay.
My mood has improved during the day in a sense that I can cope with it again. This evening I started out with a guided meditation that I broke off because it didn’t work for me. I then started another guided meditation that I did once before and that one was better for me. I finished off with my own Light meditation which went okay. I’m still very closed off, my heart center feels physically uncomfortable like there’s a rock in there or something.
After a number of days of feeling down and low in energy I had a strong Light meditation again this morning. Lots of stuff happened before my mind’s eye and I’ll try to describe it before I forget.
I started out with two very short meditations from this site. The first one (sexual healing) was nice and the image of energy circulating between the centers was clear. The second one (return of the Goddess) felt stronger. I like the idea of merging with a female body in order to bring more female energy into my system. Then I proceeded with a regular Light meditation. My body was buzzing with energy and I felt quite confident and calm. The intellectual scepticism that I usually have to’fight’ was weak. I can’t remember the exact sequence of events anymore but these are things that happened before my mind’s eye:
The female body of the Goddess meditation was still merged with my own, bringing softness to my energy. I felt like I was a strong beacon of white light, it was emanating to my surroundings. Sometimes a flash of fear or disturbance would be triggered by some thought but I was conscious of that and I immediately let the Light consume it, after which it was gone and I couldn’t even remember the thought that triggered it anymore. At some point I was a sphere of strong bright light and I thought of and old friend. I saw her as a sphere of light too, but it was a bit weaker, struggling and flickering. I let it enter my own sphere so it was safe and protected. I nurtured it with the Light and it had a feeling to it as if it were a baby in a whomb. It was quite beautiful until my mind got distracted. I was thinking about my purpose in life, something I have been wondering about for a long time. I didn’t get a clear picture but I saw myself on or near a beautiful pond in a forest with lillies on the water and surrounded by reed. It was night and a misty fog hung over the water. I was lecturing or teaching something but there was nobody there to listen so no idea what the point was of that. Then my attention went back to the meditation. The sphere of light I had been feeding was bright again and was floating before my own sphere. We had subtly different colors . We slowly but deliberately merged into one but with keeping our own integrity. I felt a strong companionship. This was pleasant and it lasted for some time. All the while energy felt strong, I was feeling big and powerful in a gentle way.
Lately I try to remain conscious about the golden sun in my heart center and the white light in my body during all my daily activities, to keep me in touch with my true nature.