There are a few things I can share about the Ziemia ceremony that I helped facilitate last saturday, which I will do over the coming period as time allows.
First of all I learned (again) that sometimes things are very much NOT what they seem…
In the weeks leading up to the ceremony I grew more and more anxious because I was insecure about what I could contribute. The other participants all had visible, concrete skills in my eyes and I didn’t. I only have my healing of which I still am not confident in spite of all the positive feedback I received in the past. (In hindsight there also was a huge fear to be judged by people at that ceremony). It was not until 1 or 2 days before the ceremony that the anxiety subsided somewhat and I was looking forward to it again. So this is the mindset that I entered the ceremony with. I placed my seiza bench at the edge of the room so I had a place to sit when I did not have a task. Also, I kept a copy of the programme there so I could take a peek at it on the go, because I was too nervous to memorize it. The ceremony was opened by the organizer after which there was a 20-minute sound healing using crystal singing bowls. This was one of two occasions where the three present healers could wander through the room and give healing energy to the people attending. As I was seated at the edge of the room, it was logical I would start with the couple that was lying directly in front of me. As the sound healing started I noticed I was very anxious again, feeling scared and insecure. I looked at the couple and I couldn’t get myself to give them a healing, which includes touching for me because I always do that by placing my hands behind the ears. I was afraid of the reaction of the man and didn’t dare touch him. His partner was lying besides him, very obviously pregnant. This raised questions with me too, because I would like to put my hand on her belly for a healing but this is an action that is either highly appreciated or deemed inappropriate depending on the level of trust of the person. So I didn’t dare heal her as well.
I interpreted the resistance I felt as my own fear and insecurity.
Because I only had 20 minutes I decided to skip the couple and go into the room. I kneeled down behind the first person and gently put my hands behind the ears. The person did not open the eyes and was not disturbed by it, so my worry of that was unjustified in this case. I still was very tense though so the healing was messy in my head and didn’t feel very effective to me. Also I was kneeled which was painful for my toes so that was distracting. I continued to the next person and sat crosslegged behind her. When I put my hands around the back of her head, she didn’t react in any way so that was good. I noticed how different she felt compared to the previous person, but couldn’t describe that difference. It was like a heaviness. I gave her some violet flame energy and continued to the next person. She saw me coming and we exchanged a slight smile. I sat crosslegged behind her and again put my hands behind her ears. This person too felt different , a lot lighter that the previous one. This was interesting because this is the first time I’m treating strangers in a rapid succession and I was surprised that I felt these differences even though I was far from relaxed. The next person was a balled man with biker-like clothes. As I sat behind him I immediately thought of Archangel Raphael so I sent green healing energy into his body. Perhaps there was some physical malady present there but I wasn’t keen enough to think of asking for guidance what that was.
At a later stage in the ceremony there was a second timeframe where the healers could wander the room.
I decided to go back to the couple and try to give them a healing again. I sat down behind the man but I couldn’t get myself to begin. I was afraid of his reaction. The same with his pregnant wife. I decided to try and give him a healing without touching him but even that wouldn’t work. Eventually I just decided to skip them alltogether, letting go of the idea that everyone in the room must get a healing.
Why am I sharing this? Because I interpreted the resistance I felt with that couple as my own fear and insecurity. This was not the case however. One of the other healers did actually approach the couple to give them a healing and it ended up being a nasty discussion. The man wasn’t interested and rejected all good intentions. Probably the ceremony was not what he expected of it and maybe he regretted coming. The man’s behavior was quite unpleasant. When I heard about this after the ceremony I realized that the resistance I had felt was not coming from my fear or anxiety, but from them. It appears I was actually following my intuition without realizing it. It’s a shame that it kind of put a shadow over the entire evening for me because I didn’t realize this until afterwards. It’s a very valuable lesson – for the other healer too, because she realized she had the same intuition about the couple but approached them anyway because she felt everyone should get a healing – which is the limited brain talking.
So the big lesson here was to trust my feelings more. I need to pay more attention to them. That being said , discerning where the feelings are coming from – someone else or me – is something I have to learn.