Today was a tough day. Feelings of depression, inadequacy and sadness. Sometimes being so aware of thoughts and emotions is a curse. Knowing that ‘this too shall pass’ was somewhat supporting. A short meditation helped a bit as did pulling weeds in the garden. Fortunately I managed to get through the day without losing my temper and yelling at someone. Don’t know if these feelings are caused by the MCO or maybe by the 4kg Celestine rock that was besides me during my last evening meditation… Celestine is a powerful rock I’m told and exposure should be limited. So for this evening meditation I moved the Celestine a bit away just to be sure.
This evening I practiced abdominal breathing again, contracting my pelvic floor muscle at the out breath and relaxing it at the in breath. Meanwhile staying aware of thoughts, emotions and sensations. After 30 minutes I switched posture from kneeling on a seiza bench to sitting cross-legged on a pillow. Continued for another 30 minutes. Concentration was okay with limited distractions. A light, buzzy feeling developed in the head and my intestines started protesting towards the end. Feeling reasonably calm and relaxed at the end. Sleepy time…