Normally I avoid doing energy related meditations in the late evening but I haven’t gotten around to do it during the day so I made an exception.
I sat in my meditation room cross-legged. I’ve been trying to meditate on the seiza bench lately but that posture kind of inhibits relaxed breathing. I’m cross-legged on the pillow now again but I’m not using the back rest so my back is not supported. I’ve read that this is better for energy flow and it is a more active posture. This was a 15-minute session and I’m doing the ‘new’ method from now on as I described last time. It feels a bit awkward but I need to get used to it. Sensations were quite absent except for the 3rd eye pressure and some warmth in the abdomen. The meditation didn’t feel ‘dead’ though. I try to let the energy pass through each center consciously but since I’m going around the torso during each breath (breath cycle is about 4 seconds total) it’s going pretty fast and it’s going to take some practice- but that’s fine.
Nurturing the flower at my heart is a bit difficult now because of the speed but I made that up in the second part of this meditation : the daily Metta. I did the same one as yesterday and I even tried to boost it by putting my hands on my heart and giving myself (and the lotus in my heart) Shamballa at the same time, but it didn’t really open me up. I wonder if I’m just so closed/blocked or if this is normal. I think something is holding me back. Anyhow, I observe and try not to worry about it. Sleepy time.