This morning I went up to my meditation room and sat on a chair to do this 25-minute MCO as described on my MCO page.
I organized the session as follows: 10 minutes to do the abdominal breathing and Inner Smile, 10 minutes for MCO, 5 minutes finishing up.
The abdominal breathing felt constricted in the belly , this is caused by the posture. It’s the same when I sit on the seiza bench, the muscles in the abdomen are needed to maintain the posture so they are not relaxed.
The Inner Smile felt insincere and fabricated.
The MCO was difficult, I was spending too much time trying to fine-tune my posture to relax my abdomen. Finally I decided to move back on the chair and use the back rest, this helped. After that focus became somewhat better but not much, too much tension in my body and worry in the head. There was warmth in the belly though.
To finish up I did the fist rotations , which felt kind of relaxing.
I’m thinking of stopping with the MCO for a while; I’ve been caught in a bad mood for months now and I can’t produce gratitude or love for almost anything except on those rare moments like Spiriosa with the group mantra. Maybe I have to work on that first, the more relaxed and centered I am the more effective the MCO will be.