Microcosmic orbit #125 – belly button 18

Well I gave it another try and sat down cross-legged in my meditation room for about 40 minutes. I used that posture instead of the chair because my arm hurts less that way. This session my arm did not distract me.

I started with 10 minutes of focusing on the sensations of the breath at the nose to calm the mind. Then I spent about 5 minutes with the Inner Smile, thanking each of my organs and appreciating the wonder of the body.

I brought my attention to the belly button and found it hard to find something to attach my attention to so I put a small piece of tourmaline in my belly button, that didn’t work. I wet a finger in my mouth and moistened the belly button, this helped somewhat. After some time I could ‘find the spot’ and keep attention reasonably focused there.

I didn’t do the contractions of the pelvic floor muscle this time because that made it harder to stay with the belly button. I got aroused again and fantasies started to develop in my head so I shifted my attention to the Ming-Men on the back. The arousal dissipated and I returned to the belly button. After some time, when it seemed no sensations were going to appear at the belly button, I noticed that I was slightly disappointed. I want to have sensations because that gives me the feeling of success or progress and it is nice to report that here. Sensations are not necessarily an indication of success or failure. Besides, I should sit without expectations, just observing ‘what is’ and accepting it since it’s already there and cannot be changed. I noticed additional relaxation upon that little insight.

I am still in doubt if this method by Mantak Chia is for me though. Maybe I’ll do two sessions a day; one long session Mantak Chia style and a short one my style.

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