Tonight I did a Violet Flame followed by a Light meditation. It wasn’t very lively. After that I remained seated for another half hour focusing on the breath but I’m still kind of ‘out of it’. In meditation it’s hard to focus and during the day I’m not as centered as I can be but that ready to explain since there is enough stuff going on to distract me. The tree thing is also keeping me busy. I really want to learn to channel and now that I’ve had a taste of it I want to practice but I don’t know how. I don’t want to learn it from a book or site because then I’m creating patterns and expectations in my head, I want to develop my own way. I have to try and ignore my own low self esteem in this.