Evening meditation

It’s been a bit chaotic the last few days, I’ve been meditating with friends and at Sangoma which is nice but it means I skipped my Light meditation a few times. So tonight I was in my meditation room again to catch up. I noticed that I had missed my room so I guess the energy there is good for me. I started out with a 20 minute light meditation which felt good and followed that up with a 10-minute Violet Flame meditation which also felt quite powerful. After that I remained seated for another 20 minutes just being aware and I noticed something. I always wonder why it is that sometimes (rarely) I get these spontaneous images (like angels descending upon me or other stuff) but most of the time I don’t get anything. I think I noticed now that I’m so used to try to maintain focus on something that it’s hard for me to give room for anything. For example, when I focus on the breath , as soon as anything else comes into my awareness I’ll stop that and go back to the breath. So I’m actually killing anything spontaneous. What I’ve tried now is to be more discerning what the distraction is; if my attention moved away from the meditation object I try to check what’s happening- if it’s a thought stream (like shopping lists and the likes) I take my attention back to the object. If it’s anything else like images I let it be and give it space depending on the nature of the images. This is a bit difficult as it is un-learning a habit for me but it felt more spacious when I did that. I’ll keep trying to do it this way and see what happens.

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