Who am I?

This morning, as I was doing my morning meditation, my mind started thinking about the nature of consciousness and the thought stream was interesting enough to just let it happen.

I’m not as focused on the subject of non duality lately but still I always wonder who I am. As I was flooding my body with white Light I thought ‘ who is doing the flooding, is it really me because I am my higher self? Then, am I flooding myself? Who is noticing that?’ I already know (rationally) who I am, I am the simple awareness that is aware of everyday impressions. The simple attention that is conscious of thoughts, senses, emotions. If my thumb hurts and I’m aware of feeling the pain, I’m as awake as I’m ever going to get, so it’s not a matter of reaching a different level of awakeness. The problem is identification. I’m identifying with the thoughts, senses and emotions. But with what should I identify and how does that fit in the picture of a small self and a higher self? Am I my higher self? This doesn’t fit. So this morning a picture presented itself in my head that was better: I’m an individuated aspect of the Higher Self and it’s purpose is to experience the physical plane by being aware of thoughts, senses and emotions and to this end it is intimately connected to a physical body. The problem is that that individuated consciousness is identifying with what is being noticed, instead of knowing itself as the Observer.

In this model all the principles of non-duality and higher self seem to fit. By the way, this is also how the Seth entity describes our nature, but I took some time understanding that 😉.

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